I would like to take this opportunity to clear the air and let everyone know that someone stole my beautiful shiny 17″ MBP in order to cast doubt on the ultimate supremacy of ninjas.

It has been scientifically proven that one cannot both be a ninja and a pirate at the same time. Just a quick example: parrots. Parrots are a part of being a pirate. So are things like scurvy and peg legs and hooks for arms. It is very difficult to be a ninja (which necessitates stealth) and be hobbling about on a wooden leg, with a parrot, or hooks for arms. Even just one of the three would be a major impediment. You certainly could not beat a pirate, a ninja, or a pirate-ninja with scurvy.

Anyone who says otherwise ought be shackled and portaged and keel-hauled like the lame pirates they are.

Ninjas rule forever, and that is all.

In final analysis

Ninja v. Ninja: Ninja
Ninja v. Pirate: Ninja
Ninja-Pirate v. Ninja-Pirate: Whichever takes on the qualities of the ninja during the fight.
Pirate v. Pirate: Pathetic, also, possibly hot, if Johnny Depp has anything to do with it.